Hurtful memories

I'm not 'scheduled' to have a blog entry here until tomorrow. But I had to write.

This is my current facebook status: Angel Ackerman knows her writer friends can sympathize. A song popped on while the music was on shuffle, and it hit me it the gut, because I'd never heard the lyrics before and it reminded me of a tender moment between characters before one of them 'died.'

My daughter asked to listen to some music. When she requests this, I put iTunes on my laptop on shuffle. A song popped on that I hadn't ever really listened to the lyrics. "Small Favors" by Fountains of Wayne.

The song begins:
I have to sit you down
Let me tell you what it's all about
'Cause I've been carrying a torch around
And I've forgotten how to snuff it out

And you have been unkind
And that’s a matter I cannot ignore
You have to skirt around the truth sometimes
But it’s time I told you what I came here for

To thank you for all the small favors
I’m thinkin’ now I hope it doesn’t change us
And take us to a time when we were strangers
In a two-station town
You can’t get the train to slow down

Small favors
Oh to you as sure as she was honest
And now do you remember when you promised
To forgive me someday
The debts that I can’t repay

And this song, that I've known for years, suddenly hit my in the gut with an overwhelming sadness. Because one of my characters has an unrequited love for another character, and he does do more 'small favors' for her than she can ever repay. And she dies. So, it's some heavy thinking...

I can't shake this emotional upheaval.

Me and My iPod

Music.

Most of my writer friends use it in some form. Except for one. She writes while she watches TV. But, in general, my writer friends all utilize music in their writing.

My iPod has my (and my daughter's) entire music collection. So, I often put in on shuffle and listen to the random selections as I work through a literary problem. (Doing it right now... Sixpence None the Richer is on, Salt N Pepa before that.) Some times being out of control of the music leaves me to look at a problem from a new direction.

I also have playlists. These are usually for the car, when I'm brainstorming a scene. I have playlists for romantic scenes (usually dedicated to a specific couple, like good, old-fashioned mix tapes), others for sex scenes, others for fights and others for making up... I have playlists that bring to mind certain characters, and help me get into their POV; and playlists that those characters would listen to.

For example: Adelaide, my 25-year-old former American supermodel-- born in 1978, listens to Placebo, Depeche Mode, Noir Désir, Cake and Salt N Pepa. But her boss, 40-something Étienne d'Amille prefers Jazz, some Norah Jones, Melody Gardot, Django Rheinhart and Juliette Gréco, and anything from the James Bond movies. And Carla Bruni's music amuses him to no end. Now, his wife, Basilie, she likes Jazz but prefers classical. She adores Joshua Bell.

I've purchased CDs because I thought these characters would like them.

Now, the playlists geared at helping me write about these characters are different. When I write about the bad guys, I listen to a playlist my husband made: Chevelle, Prodigy, Nine Inch Nails, Limp Bizkit, Radiohead, Pixies, Tool, The Toadies, Alice in Chains...

And these are all different from the soundtrack for each book, which is usually compiled after the first draft of a novel to keep me focused during revisions. In some cases, they creep into the story, some more clearly disguised then others.

For example
From the opening chapter of the first book of my Fashion and Fiends series:
Competing with the country music from the bar, distant rock music assailed his ears screaming ‘dazzled and doused in gin' about changing tastes in men. A convertible zipped so close by him it lifted his shirttails. Galen broke from his prey. The music blared from a powder blue Mercedes with top down.

It's "Taste in Men" by Placebo from the album Black Market Music.

More later...