History based

My stories very much blend the history of the real world with what happens in their universe.

My first novel takes place in 2002 because of some of these elements. The characters don't work if they are removed from that time.

Etienne and Basilie must be children of post World War II. Basilie has to be a corporate raider circa 1980s. Adelaide can only rise as a supermodel in the pre-waif days and in the shadow of beauties like Cindy Crawford.

More importantly, Etienne's uncle dies in Algeria. His father probably served in Indochina. He completed his national service in a post colonial Djibouti, which means he didn't see the action his father and uncles did.

I was reading Frantz Fanon yesterday, and as a anti-colonial philosopher AND a psychiatrist, he had some interesting notes about the impact of warfare on the Algerians and the French alike during the war for Algerian independence.

I realized, reading these notes, that I had finally found my link to Uncle Gaston's service, conduct and death. This excites me.

The intricate crossing of fiction and history allows the author to comment on the actions of nations and the state of society.

I've already written a short character sketch to introduce Khadijah, who may challenge everything Etienne believes about his family, his country's "civilizing mission" of yesteryear and what it means to be "French."

It may help him do what's right in the aftermath of his own actions.

Revisiting the prequel

I've had a lot of projects, a daughter with ear issues, my own dental care, work hours and economics to contend with... It burnt me out on writing, with productivity in mind, so I let my mind wander and returned to my circa 1978 "prequel" of Étienne's youth and love story.

I've drafted the new first chapter and I like it. I don't feel it's perfect but it's a start. I'll share page one:

Chapter One


Heat consumed Étienne from multiple angles; the sun from Ghislaine’s window soothed his nude flesh and his aching thrust erupted inside her with a rippling whirlpool that chased away the Paris dampness. He offered a tired grunt and savored that moment when his muscles dissolved. She gasped and collapsed against his chest, her body still quivering against his.

He cried. Her cheek pressed against the metal of his identification plaque. The slight tickle of Ghislaine’s long bleached blond hair blanketing him and the soft yet firm push of her breasts pressed against him had punctured the cigar smoke. The telltale earthy scent of Montecristo #4 had fallen when his commanding officer reported that Étienne’s father had died. That was more than a week ago. With the aftershocks of the sex the only barrier between him and his new found grief, Étienne wrapped his arms around Ghislaine and braced for the tears.

His father smoked Montecristo #4 cigars. The cigar smoke had filled the barracks like a protective cloud. It stayed with him as he packed, during the eight-hour, red-eye flight to Paris, and through his brisk walk to Ghislaine’s apartment.

Character cultural relativity

I'm not sure if that's an appropriate title, but this addresses how characters react to each other within the confines of their experiences and their culture. From an email to a friend: "In a way I wanted to tell you this in person,but life's unpredictable nature might make it impossible for us to sit down and have a conversation. I put all my writing away a couple weeks ago. It was frustrating me and not enjoyable so I decided to read, clean my house, and potentially revisit my other hobbies. Just to recharge the batteries. This is always an awesome exercise because it allows the crazy new thoughts to enter your mind. Like my werewolf stories. Then I had a strange thought about Étienne's back story. I have waffled a bit on his history-- at one point he failed his bac (the end of high school exams used for university entrance) and went to work for his father. He and Basilie then represented two avenues to success: him, hard work and her, education/ family background. This is starting to sound like a blog entry. May have to copy it and post. Then I made Ét narrowly pass his exam and make it into a prestigious private art school. And drop out when his father died. So he drove Basilie crazy because she wanted to attend a similar school and couldn't get in and he dropped out! Similar to the kind of jealousy she feels when he gets an O visa to the US and she gets an HB. But that bothered me because Ét probably wouldn't have the academic credentials or the money for such a school. BUT if he doesn't go to school, he'll end up conscripted into the army. Which I always believed his brother was serving his conscription when their father died. But really, Edmond is the one who went to university and has small children so realistically he would have a deferment.  It looks like if Étienne served his conscription, it would have been in 1977, and probably shortly after the independence of Djibouti. Étienne. Army. Djibouti. With me? I do not doubt he would be a lousy soldier, but I think he would be very clever in making social arrangements for the guys, and helping repair uniforms of his peers to avoid the hazing aspects of the military.  And what makes this interesting is according to the sources I could find, 98% of Djibouti women TODAY still undergo severe circumcision/ genital mutilation. And I think being an observer to a culture that does this could make him very pro-feminist. I also think that it would make some interesting conflict with Basilie about the status of women in the world, since she's an educated, upper class European and argue that the world has improved for women and Étienne would believe her a sheltered, ethnocentric brat. Angel"

Writing again?

I have been writing again. I have an old romance novel/ghost story in my head that I lovingly refer to as the prequel, as its the love story of my main characters in my Fashion and Fiends series. I wrote half of it, once upon a time, but hit 50,000 words and when things got good, I couldn't keep going.

For years, I had this dead spot.

And then I asked myself two questions: What if we saw her perspective? (The story is told from two view points: the young man falling in love and his dead father.) What if her mom knew about the relationship? (As it stands, they hide their relationship.)

That got me thinking even more: What if her mom encouraged their relationship? Maybe did some matchmaking?

I started this story years ago, before my daughter was born. She just turned seven. And yet, it never occurred to me to include the female love interests thoughts and conflicts in the story.

So I guess my point is, every once in a while you have to look at your manuscript intentionally asking the obvious questions and toying with the answers.

Pondering

I'm supposed to be doing homework.

But I haven't written in this blog for a while and I have something brief that's been on my mind.

Do you give yourself permission to free write?

Every once in a while, when I have the urge to write and either my current projects aren't turning out or I don't have a project (like now), I write something random. And these pieces all start with random questions.

They always end up being pertinent, either in a new or an existing story.

A couple days ago I wrote two pages on the early days of marriage between Basilie and Étienne. I was thinking about their sex life 20 years ago, but it turned out that I wrote a nugget that showed me his feelings when he found out she was pregnant the first time. I felt something for these two I had never felt before.

I have two more questions running around in my brain:

1. If Étienne and Basilie had met before they met as I say they did, when he was 18 and she was 20, what would the encounter be and where? As if they ran into each other as strangers but never knew... what happened? Was it in a museum? A store? What did they think of each other?
2. My secondary character of Jules the Chef... Need to explore his backstory. What was his life like in the immediate months before he enters my story?

The Poetry of Paris

On October 6, I left for Paris. I went on a whirlwind trip that despite the calendar's claim that I returned a mere five days later rejuvenated my soul as if I spent a month in France.

I didn't set myself up with a major list of things to do, because merely needed to be in Paris. The photo at left is me in Étienne's neighborhood.

 I didn't waste time visiting his church, his exact address, his office, the house he grew up in or the boulangerie where he gets his bread.

I needed to live in the rhythm of Paris without any distraction before I could scope out these things. I still have a good idea where they are, but I don't need to decide today where they will be exactly.

I like my writing to have authenticity to it, as much as I can provide. So, while I could pick a place and do a surface description, I would rather wait until I could capture the underlying sense of life within a place. The narrow streets, the odors of urine, perspiration, dog poop, wine, perfume, bread and cigarette smoke that makes Paris memorable. The demi-tasse of coffee and the warm brioche or pain au chocolat. The way the vin du table pours perhaps a tad too easily. Cramming onto the subway closer to strangers than I would normally stand with my husband.

Before I return to my manuscript, I am writing a poem to Paris. Perhaps that is how an author should find a setting, by immersing oneself in the streets until poetry comes out.

Off the cuff

I have fifteen minutes before I leave for class and I'm stuck here at the college library having finished some homework early and having no brain cells left for writing.

Last night, Étienne had his Spring 2011 ready-to-wear fashion show and I imagine he shocked the world by starting the show with the models in full burqas. A couple weeks ago, the French legislature passed a law banning burqas under the French policy of maintaining a "laïc" society. The separation of church and state has led to a severe type of absence of religion from everyday life in France, and there are very real reasons why these policies developed.

But, from a practical standpoint, and a cultural/societal one, the ideology in question is not going to work and the law will cause problems.

Although Étienne is not Muslim, he has friends that are. And he sent those models down the runway in burqas to make a statement. He did finally show the clothes, but even then, every model had a headpiece, i.e. a form of the veil, and he made a statement.

I started editing Chapter 21 of Courting Apparitions, and in that chapter, Étienne flies to France. In a few days, so am I, so this is exciting. Our lives overlap. In a good way.

Character Politics

Do you know your characters' politics?

Seriously.

My stepmother loves George W. Bush. She is not a fan of Barack Obama. This is central to her identity as an intelligent business owner, a Christian and a conservative. It also was very hard for her to talk about anything with my liberal hairdresser. They both respected each other, but neither could be dissuaded from the gospel of their politics. And they both had a lot of passion about the topic.

Now, before you dismiss this bit of character development by saying, "My character is not interested in politics," let me remind you that we're all political in some way-- even if it boils down to one of two philosophies:
1. The "Why vote? It doesn't make a lick of difference" people
versus
2. The "If you didn't vote for anyone, you can't complain about anything" camp
(a variation of the "if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem" mentality)
That's step one. Do your characters vote? Why or why not?

Let me ask my mortal characters:
Adelaide~ She votes, primarily liberal, but often forgets elections, can't remember when the primary is, and couldn't tell you who her congressman is.
Étienne~ VOTES. Religiously. Liberal, and because he's French, votes primarily socialist, though does get into the oratory tricks of French politicians.
Basilie~ VOTES and has had a high-ranking political career depending where in the series we're talking about. Despite her Frenchness, she's very conservative. HATES the French social welfare state, and has had a career as a cutthroat businessman in the United States (and a Harvard MBA) so she's a savage capitalist.

Now. Step Two.
Why does this matter?

Character's political leanings (and their religious attitudes/practices) can provide key insights as to how they will treat others.

Each one of the character's above runs into someone begging for money on the streets of Manhattan. They are each alone, so they have no one to impress or influence their actions.

Adelaide ~ gets overwhelmed. Hands the guy some cash. Moves on and feels guilty on and off for the rest of the day.
Étienne ~ Hands the guy all the cash in his wallet and goes to the store and gets him a new pair of shoes
Basilie ~ ignores him.

Now, if they were talking amongst themselves about what had happened... how would the conversations go?

If Adelaide told Étienne that she felt guilty, he would tell her she did the most she could and then he'd go find the guy and buy him a new pair of shoes. Okay, maybe not with the shoes, but it could happen that way.

If Étienne was late for a business meeting because of his outing with the beggar, his staff would murmur and Adelaide would adore Étienne all the more for his compassion.

If Basilie heard that Étienne was buying shoes for homeless men again, she would call him an idiot and threaten to take his charge cards away.

And Étienne would consider Basilie's approach cruel.

On election day, there's some heated arguments in my universe.

Logistics

When certain moods strike, I love to write the naughty parts in manuscripts.

They always start WAY too long, going through every motion of the encounter and get hacked to pieces. These scenes often research (or merely thought), and not necessarily the "is this position physically possible?" kind (although that happens). Things like if she's 5' 2" and he's 5' 8" does she have to stand on tip toe to kiss him? Can your hand physically bend that way?

The other important part of a love scene is to make sure you edit ALL IN ONE SITTING. Because otherwise, you can miss important details.

For example, I have this:

"Confusion flashed in Zélie’s eyes and her lips parted. She released him, her hand falling to her side. Étienne brought his kiss to her clavicle and then closer to her breast. He spun her..."

Now in the original version that line about her hand falling away was not there, nor was the release. This doesn't seem like a big problem until you realize her hand was in his pants, holding something important for this scene, and he spins her around without letting go.

The reader can assume she let go, but since she's confused, maybe she didn't... and depending, that could be painful or merely lead to some getting twisted up and falling over... You get the idea.

And after you hack the scene down to its essence and have what you like, read it out loud. You may blush, but it's the only way to check how smooth it is.

The Reunion / The Hanged Man

I'm working out of sequence as I have been frequently because of how I keep getting stuck. A friend had a bad day yesterday, and she read the first draft of Courting Apparitions and laments the fact that Basilie and Étienne don't have sex except for one in the entire book.

That is a bad, bad sentence. But let's move on.

Since my friend had a bad day, and I'm very close to that big sex scene, I thought I'd go ahead and write that scene to cheer her up.

In the tarot, there's a card called the Hanged Man. It's not the well-hung man, so get your mind out of the gutter. The hanged man is the guy who always looks at a situation differently from everyone else. If you watched Project Runway last night, he would be Casanova (who thought WAY out of the box) or even Ivy H. (her approach to the project was the opposite of everyone else).

A good sex scene has to have an element of the Hanged Man. If it's merely presenting what happened, it's not enough. If it's merely erotic and graphic, it's not enough.

I've talked in the past about every sex scene doing its job to move the plot, and enhance the character and show us about the relationship we're seeing. But it should also have that special quirkiness that makes it real.

In real life, this happens.

Like the time I asked my husband in the middle of things if he remembered whether or not I turned the oven off.

Or the time things went incredible and my husband thought something was wrong based on an unusual noise I made.

I already have a very powerful surprise for the revision to book three that shows how quickly "the other woman" picked up on a secret fantasy of the male character that his wife never noticed in 25 years together.

And don't even ask about the Tufula Tufts.

Take a Chance and Tap Dance

As writers, we often get to research topics that interest us and no one questions this. Like Nisha, from Pocono Lehigh Romance Writers, who spent last weekend at an archery lesson for her book (which sounds like an incredible retelling of some mythic Indian stuff).

For me, this usually means fashion and French stuff and Paris.

Artists get to explore their dreams in unique ways. Normal people could, but normally don't give themselves permission.

I gave myself permission.

There's a side bit in my story. It's serves a purpose, as an indicator of Étienne's health and... um... self-control. He learns to tap dance.

I have always wanted to tap dance, but I have cerebral palsy so it seems like a stupid thing for me to try and do. My daughter is in ballet and tap now. So, I asked her:

"If you knew something Mommy didn't know and wanted to learn, would you teach me?"

She said sure.

So I bought tap shoes.

And we started lessons. I love it. It took ten minutes for the six-year-old to forget anything else to teach me, so we turned to YouTube and we've started working on Rod Howell's dances classes from UnitedTaps.com.

I'm no Gene Kelly, but tap is teaching me lots of exercises for moving my feet and my ankles. It's also using muscles in my calves that I don't normally use. Which is great for my CP. I wonder if someone would have enrolled me in tap as a kid if I would have better control walking now...

So, it just goes to show, everybody needs to indulge. I've been told I don't know how to have fun, and this summer has worried me that maybe that's true. Tap dance is something that serves no purpose, other than having fun.

Yeah, I can blame Étienne, but really, I didn't need to learn to tap dance for him. I did it for me.

Reconnecting

Even though this is an edit of a third-ish draft, I have been rewriting some chapters here and there to boost their effectiveness. I have written and re-written some of these chapters several times in a week, which I have mentioned before... but there is something about it...

*intentional dramatic pause*

The struggle makes the success sweeter.

A writer friend and a member of my critique group asked me what Étienne was going to do to get his wife back. She wanted to know if he would do something "over the top." I told her no.

I lied.

Her simple question led me to think about it all day yesterday. When I started to write last night, the words and the emotion and the scope flooded out of me. I've now got the next draft almost done and I'm pleased though I'm missing one thing at the end...

The big, life-altering, mind-blowing, commitment-affirming kiss.

And trying to write something like that reminds a writer of a very big fact. As writers, everything we do must capture a truth of human existence. If this kiss does not capture every magic glimmer of their relationship, then I have failed.

Makes you want to test some kisses...

Empathy

Writers must possess incredible empathy-- and our empathy extends to things in the imagination.

I mentioned about a week ago that Basilie had thrown Étienne out, smack dab in the middle of what was supposed to be revisions to my second manuscript, Courting Apparitions. In order to understand the why, especially since it happened so suddenly and not as part of the drafting process, I went back and read the whole manuscript for clues (and they were there!)

But then I realized, I had a very pregnant woman, under emotional duress, and bad memories tormenting her not only in regards to how jealous her relationship makes her but also the fear associated with pregnancy.

I am now in the process of writing out what happened in Basilie's last pregnancy, even though I only need snippets for the chapter. I have to really understand what happened to her even though I can tell you in a succinct sentence what happened. And I can tell you in a paragraph how it altered her thinking about herself, her role as a wife, and her present frame of mind.

To capture successfully the magnitude and importance, I need to live the details with her, so her emotional state resonates viable and true in the present scene and doesn't fall flat.

To do that I must share her tragedy.

I'm nine pages into this, and it is very very sad, and I suspect it will take nine more pages to get it all down. In the end, the paragraph or bits of dialogue that reference this event from the chapter in question will automatically have the zing they need because Basilie's memories are now my memories and not merely a question of her internal conflicts and motivations.

Oops.

Earlier this week, I started work on my most recent chapter and discovered, as I moved forward, that I wasn't sure how this chapter would fit in my new outline/draft structure.

I thought I knew where they were going/ what they were doing and -- most importantly-- how it furthered the plot.

But then... Oh then... My female heroine (Basilie) did the unthinkable. In her pregnant hormonal state, she has thrown the male hero (Étienne) out! She threw him out five days before the wedding.

This has stunned me so much, that I have written merely a sentence a day.

Don't you hate it when characters have their own plan? Sometimes it works, sometimes you have to reign them in.

Interestingly, my life has gotten similarly complicated, although my husband did not throw me out.

Details: The Right Pair of Shoes

I spend an enormous amount of time on the details in my novels. It may be "throw away" detail that the reader skims over and soon forgets, but it's the details that make a story a believable interaction with the real world.

My characters have money. Most of them work in fashion. I have a main character (Étienne) who likes to shop for shoes: for himself, for his wife, for his employees.

When I mention what shoes he recently bought, it can be an anchor in time. The first novel in my Fashion and Fiends series takes place in fall 2002. The shoes on the main characters' feet support this.

I once had a professional reader chide me for mistreating a napkin. Apparently she collected linens, and felt it was a terrible thing that my main character was ironing his napkins. This is apparently dangerous for old linens. Except these were everyday modern linens. But she noticed, and it killed my credibility for her. (Which in all honesty, I think I deserve some slack on that one since I didn't have him ironing his grandmother's lace. And besides-- he's a fashion designer, a dressmaker, linens aren't his specialty.)

So maybe it's excessive that I spend a half an hour looking for the perfect pair of shoes for my heroine to fight her battles in, but maybe not. I think the details-- if used correctly-- paint an accurate picture of who these people are.

Let's test a paragraph/scene:

They traveled the rest of the way to the car without speaking. Once Basilie lowered her bottom into the leather seat and turned on the warmer for her back, she kicked off her black patent ballet slippers. She massaged the sole of her foot, thankful she had worn flats. Étienne peered to her, then down to the shoes, one on its side, the other clearly displaying its pale innards and YSL logo.
“You scuffed those today,” he said.
“Can you polish them?” she asked. “I’d like to wear them to the party tonight.”

I like that Basilie doesn't mention, even in her own head, that these are Yves Saint Laurent shoes, until her husband looks at them. And even then it's a minor reference.

What's even more amusing to me is that Basilie is eight months pregnant and just survived a sword fight, and yes she fought the bad guy with a sword, and she's not concerned about her shoes but the upcoming party.

And she expects Étienne to polish them, to fix it, so she can continue looking good and feeling comfortable.

I could continue analyzing this, but you get the idea.

Progress and Typographical Errors

I have written every day for the past several days, but only a couple hundred words a day.

Is this progress? Perhaps.

Allegheny Beast and the level of detail required for a thorough synopsis have taken all the fun out of my revisions. I decided last week to change the secret army operation in the story to some sort of environmental terrorist organization. In preparing a "character sketch" of that organization, I thought it might be cool to make it a group of college kids who originally went out to the woods to play Live Action Role Playing games. They picked the location in hopes of seeing the Allegheny Beast. But how do you make the leap from role playing geeks to dangerous environmental terrorists?

In my mind, you don't. Since I had planned to submit this manuscript, I have to hash out the details so that I can make the revisions to both the synopsis and the manuscript. But having too many details mapped out, even for revisions, has destroyed the fun of the writing process.

Have I learned a lesson?

I don't like writing with a detailed outline in front of me. In fact, it has ruined this project for me.

I have switched to the prequel to my Fashion and Fiends series, because it's a romance with some paranormal elements. But because it's loosely attached to the series, would I want to market it to romance publishers?

It's Étienne's and Basilie's love story, which happened more than 20 years before the trilogy I have done for the Fashion and Fiends series. But it's still Et and Bas. And yes, I could change the names and some of the details, but part of what makes the story special is that it belongs to Et and Bas.

Which brings into question my goals. See how this begins to fit?

Every published writer says to write the book, polish it, let it go, and market it to agents and editors with the same passion it took to write it. You must have that passion to make it. You have to have the passion to survive the "slings and arrows."

I'm looking for an agent, using the first book of the Fashion and Fiends series in my query. So far, no luck, but really, less than 20 rejections thus far. I'm not sure because I stopped counting. But with everything else on my plate, I've only been half-heartedly looking.

Meanwhile, I thought I'd finish and submit some romance manuscripts since many houses accept unagented manuscripts.

So, do I throw myself whole-heartedly into the agent search? Do I keep pushing in romance? Do I start that YA novel I have kicking in my head? Do I finish the project I was in the middle of what I got this brainstorm (inspired by LA Banks' workshop)? Do I write the short story I have plotted out for a call for stories for an anthology?

But I need a few days to write for fun. Even if I don't have plans for it.

Part of me is discouraged because of the books I read that disappoint me and the books I see coming from small, independent, and electronic-based presses. One author, at a press that markets very well on Facebook, caught my eye.

I went to her web site. The author web site. Her book comes out June 28. On the page on the web site for that book, one of her main characters' names is spelled inconsistently. Now I recognize that it was a simple inversion of letters while typing, but the author should have instantly noticed that and fixed it.

But (believe it or not) I decided to give her another chance. I clicked on the "read excerpt" link. In that passage, the author mixed up "pleas" and "please."

I fully believe that the eReader and the internet have given many authors a place that never had one before. I also believe that many less talented writers are seeing "print" and that's okay, because readers also have levels of proficiency. No one enjoys a book written above their comfort level.

But basic typing? And an editor who's paying attention?

I still want that.

Major Plot Revision

Any writer who's approaching a deadline, whether imposed by someone or yourself, should know that it's always best to let a work rest for as long as you can, then review it, then revise it and send it.

In daily newspapers, you're lucky if you get 15 minutes to walk away from it.

In weeklies, you can build a day or two into a story's timeline to give it time to breath.

A synopsis is no different.

In this case, a friend asked to read mine. He's sent me the suggestions and I haven't opened the email yet because even though we had lunch and I know some of what it says, my fragile ego can't bring myself to open it.

(That is a BIG run-on, consider it reflective of my nervousness in this project.)

We're talking about Allegheny Beast. Over laughs and pizza, my friend Bill, my husband and I brainstormed changing the "villain" from the oh-so-cliché evil military compound to a paramilitary operation outside the government, or an evil pharmaceutical company, or a terrorist cell plotting biological weapons.

This is what is must feel like to work with a team of writers on a TV show. The ideas get bigger and better.

Now, why on Earth would I take a finished manuscript I had planned to submit to a major romance publisher's paranormal imprint and decide at the last minute to change the villain?

This isn't "let's make a few edits" or "tweak a character," this is major overhaul.

Yep, I'm crazy that way.

Like it wasn't enough to flip-flop genre, let's change characters too.

Such is the artists' life: You can't run from the impulse when your gut and your heart agree you'll have a stronger, more marketable manuscript.

For the record, this is not the same as the perfectionism I feel when I try to get Étienne's "frenchness" right in the Fashion and Fiends series. This is a change that improves the marketability of manuscript, not just me trying to be authentic.

I'm raising a romance writer

My daughter has been on the phone with Etienne (the protagonist from my work-in-progress) most of the day. I know because I had to translate some things.

When I asked her why they were spending so much time on the phone she informed me that they were getting married. Tonight.

"You're stealing MY Frenchman," I told her.

"Mommy, he stole me," she replied.

"I don't think his wife will like that," I replied.

"Well, I can't help it. He told me that he loved me."

"There's your first mistake. Never believe a Frenchman when he says he loves you."

"And he kissed me."

"We're not talking 'bisous' here, are we?"

"No. And he said, 'I won't ever let this kiss stop.'"

"That does sound like Etienne."

I think I'm going to have to use that line.

Wondering if I fixed it

Here is the next draft of the problem scene from yesterday:

Helen Pitney, in her plaid nightgown, walked along the bar, her hand trailing the surface. Her moccasin slippers shuffled against the slate. Her scratchy footfalls were the only interruption to the awkward silence. Gerald hunched nearby, his hand grasping the wine bottle. Zélie adjusted her robe. Helen commenced another lap. Jules’ eyes sought direction from Étienne, but Étienne wasn’t sure whether he should dismiss the chef or tell him to do something.
“This is the first time you’ve served ice wine,” Gerald Pitney said.
“Your daughter bought it,” Étienne replied.
“Adelaide?” Gerald said.
“Oui,” Étienne confirmed.
“When did she learn about wines?” Gerald asked.
“You don’t spent a decade with Étienne d’Amille and not learn about wines,” Zélie said.
Étienne approached the bar, reaching for the bottle from Gerald so he could have a second glass. Gerald passed it and his breathing, heavy with emotional uncertainty, filled the kitchen. Étienne poured the wine, only partially aware of the alcohol filling the cup. He focused instead on Gerald’s detached stare. Étienne righted the wine bottle, returning it to the bar. He lifted his glass, talking a half-step toward his wife, when he paused and rested his hand on Gerald’s shoulder. Gerald’s eyes met Étienne’s and while they said nothing, the sadness in the air made the fruity notes smell sickeningly sweet. He deserted the wine on the counter. Jules swept across the room and dumped the contents of the glass in the sink.
“My pumpkin and the wine,” Gerald said. “I like eiswein. Other countries flash-freeze the grapes. In Germany, nature does it. Did you know that?”
“Mais oui. This bottle is from the Saturday harvest,” Étienne replied.
Zélie braced her arms against the overstuffed chair and pushed herself to standing.
“Oh, for the love of heaven. What’s going on?” she asked. “Are we here to have a wine tasting or did we hear something in that bathroom?”

Familiar Advice

My written French is sloppy. My favorite native French French professor at Moravian (who served as a rough template for Étienne, at least in terms of physical mannerisms) has a habit of not returning papers. I have heard over and over that my errors are small and that as my French continues to develop I'll work beyond them.

It's frustrating. I know I misuse pronouns and prepositions, but I can't tell you how, or how I need to fix them.

So, in January, I gave my ungraded papers to a native French French professor at Lafayette and asked he could help articulate my errors.

Last week, we sat in his office and read my paper on the modern French economy that was my take-home final exam. He did line edits and we talked about the words. 90 minutes of French grammar. I loved it.

As I sat there, most of the advice felt very familiar, so I thought I'd share it with you. It's the same "stuff" we deal with as writers...

• He very apologetically told me my errors stemmed from French I. I have forgotten key bits of my foundation, taught twenty years ago. A language has a clearly-defined form, and often, at the time we learned it, we were not interested. When we realize we have ideas to express, we have to revisit those rules. We like to believe that grammar doesn't matter, that a writer has poetic license, that we'll write in our speaking voice. To master the craft, we must know our basic grammar. Without doubt or hesitation.
• He asked me if I was interested in economics. The answer was a resounding 'no.' (And I cringed with memories of last semester's economics class.) I was writing about something that challenged me. As he pointed out, while he could decipher all my ideas and they were good ideas, he talked about the importance of knowing the language specific to the areas I wanted to talk about, the fields I might look to for a career. Then, I could learn the vocabulary that is unique to that field. English is the same. As writers, we have to learn a plethora of vocabulary for our stories. The occupations of our characters must ring true. So we need to learn their vocabulary.
  
• He suggested reading written material that I would like to emulate. If I want to be a journalist in France, I have to read the newspaper (which, unlike here, they do not write articles in the past tense. They write in the historical past tense, a tense I avoid). If I want to be a poet, I should read Beaudelaire. Doing this would help me develop the proper vocabulary mentioned in the previous item AND develop my French syntax and style. Writers constantly are reminded to read the authors they like and to read widely in the genre they write.
  
• He reminded me not to make my life difficult. When I'm reading those things I'm interested in, I need to note, either mentally or in a notebook, the words and phrases that I like, that sound French, that would improve my writing. Especially if I'm writing a reaction to a specific book, I should mimic the words and structure of that book, making the author's phrases my own. For the English writer, this would mean noting unusual words and how they are used. Similar to the earlier bit of advice, but this does include the idea of copying. Don't plagiarize, but use their words for practice, play with them.
• Use native speakers. A native speaker will engage you and appreciate your efforts to learn the language in ways a non-native speaker can't. Of course, if you're in France, this means you're submitting yourself to unknown levels of abuse. For the English writer, this means finding people who have a mastery in areas you know you lack. Learning something as personal as language involves hurt, our feelings get bruised. That's okay.
• Stop thinking in English, like an American. In the case of French, this means surrounding one's self with the language. Movies, music, books, news broadcasts, conversations... But for the writer, it means learning to think like an artist, which means surrounding one's self with similar things. As Jean-François put it: No matter how many drafts and edits you do, your thought process will always show.