The last few years have had their challenges. Bad work situations, anemia, a changing newspaper industry where I saw my career ending right before my eyes, a child with chronic ear infections and let's not forget breaking my teeth...
But such is life. Some people avoid these tribulations. Some people never have to worry about money a day in their life. But these people have their own challenges.
I walked away from professional employment almost three years ago. I needed to find out who I was, where I was, and I had to appreciate my little girl before she grew up. I went back to school, took a part-time job at Target, and traded the financial security of being a dual income family for the chance to be a part of my family.
I've lost friends. I've made friends. I've gained mentors. I've found souls that inspire me.
I'm slowly learning to let go of this first world stress and to revel in the moment. I still have goals and places I desire to go, but if I never get the chance to do them, am I a failure? No. As long as I make steady progress and really see my life as I want it to be, I am no one's victim. I want no regrets. I'm not focusing on my happiness as something that comes as a reward for what I've done.
Happiness can only be how I frame this moment.
Right here.
Yeah, the moment I'm wasting on the Internet talking to everyone and no one at the same time.
There's a ton of old proverbs, Bible verses and adages that address this. The past is gone. The future will never come. I even had one of them read at my wedding. The verses from Matthew that say something like this: Don't worry about the future. See the lilies of the field. They don't worry, yet God dresses them beautifully.
Evaluate your life. This week I applied for jobs (yes, professional ones), put out some freelance proposals, examined my volunteer commitments, handed in the first massive draft of my honors thesis, and took some naps.
And you know what?
I will never be defined by my jobs, or my mistakes, or even the things I do each day. I will be remembered for how I touch people. That might be by giving a kid a special straw at Target. That might be because of some fiction piece or some article I wrote. That might be walking some child home from school. That might be teaching the neighborhood kids to garden.
Okay, well...
I have some errands to run.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Writers, Readers and Friends
A friend of mine asked if she could read one of my stories some day... every time she mentions it, I had brushed the thought aside. She's a "new" friend who works at the local library and has a European background and a literary taste similar to mine.
As writers, we gather friends around us who are other writers, readers, or "bookless" folk. When one of the more "bookless" friends asks to read something, I always worry it's just a polite offer to show interest in something I do. I avoid dealing with these offers. Until they get wrapped up in my literary pursuits some other way.
Now, writer friends fall into two camps: the anxious and the reluctant. Both are dangerous. The anxious writer friend wants to read you as soon as possible, as if to judge you and base your friendship on what your words do. These writers can be dangerous. They're the ones that can sometimes push too far in "helping" and try to influence your work in ways you don't want and then you're stuck telling them their ideas suck.
The reluctant reader is the writer friend whose voice you respect, and you want to read their stuff because you like them so much (becoming the anxious reader from above) and you want to know if they like your stuff. Almost like seeking compatibility as much as moral support. But you don't want to ask or be pushy.
My new friend is a reader, and readers are the best friends writers can have. They read the work and react to it without trying to influence it. They are honest without looking for things to fix and they can read the work without pushing their own style on it.
But as a friend, considerate writers need to remember not to overwhelm their reader friends with too many requests. That's why I'm often reluctant to take advantage of a new reader friend, because that level of intimacy changes the relationship. As the author, you have certain questions you want to ask, but you don't want to become a pest or desperate.
So, if you ask to read my stuff, remember this.
As writers, we gather friends around us who are other writers, readers, or "bookless" folk. When one of the more "bookless" friends asks to read something, I always worry it's just a polite offer to show interest in something I do. I avoid dealing with these offers. Until they get wrapped up in my literary pursuits some other way.
Now, writer friends fall into two camps: the anxious and the reluctant. Both are dangerous. The anxious writer friend wants to read you as soon as possible, as if to judge you and base your friendship on what your words do. These writers can be dangerous. They're the ones that can sometimes push too far in "helping" and try to influence your work in ways you don't want and then you're stuck telling them their ideas suck.
The reluctant reader is the writer friend whose voice you respect, and you want to read their stuff because you like them so much (becoming the anxious reader from above) and you want to know if they like your stuff. Almost like seeking compatibility as much as moral support. But you don't want to ask or be pushy.
My new friend is a reader, and readers are the best friends writers can have. They read the work and react to it without trying to influence it. They are honest without looking for things to fix and they can read the work without pushing their own style on it.
But as a friend, considerate writers need to remember not to overwhelm their reader friends with too many requests. That's why I'm often reluctant to take advantage of a new reader friend, because that level of intimacy changes the relationship. As the author, you have certain questions you want to ask, but you don't want to become a pest or desperate.
So, if you ask to read my stuff, remember this.
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