Results/reactions

I react strongly.

It doesn't matter if you're my friend, my 'enemy,' my boss, my colleague, my husband, my mother, my daughter or no one of importance at all. I react strongly. People, in general, don't agree all the time and that means from a statistical standpoint, every person will not see eye to eye with someone at some point. It does not matter how much you love them, respect them, or how often you normally agree with them.

It will happen. The same process applies to writing. But let me finish explaining the above paragraph.

This week, I've experienced two incidents where I reacted strongly, three if you count the writing related one.

The first I blogged about earlier, where I asked who's rules we us in our writing. In defending proper grammar in a brochure for the office, my strong reaction and staunch defense of how to use the English language could have gotten me fired for insubordination. I was trying to maintain (or improve) our public image by using correct sentences, but the sentence structure didn't read write according to some others in the office, which to me meant it needed another round of editing, but the brochure was on deadline. End of story.

The second incident involved a friend. She did what she felt was necessary to alert a friend of mine that she felt harmed by an incident that happened months ago and involved me. I defended my friend who did the hurting. My friend, 'the victim,' now hates me for making this about me. I asked her if we could please talk about what had happened, because my other friend and I hurt her and her son, and I didn't want it to happen again.

She sent me angry, extremely long emails for 24 hours. And I told her I was willing to talk but I wouldn't email because in email I couldn't hear her voice, see her face, or read her body language. She reminded me that she had a problem with face-to-face confrontation and wouldn't be subjected to that. I didn't plan on confronting anyone. I wanted to listen. Even I can listen, if I know you're upset and have something to say.

She didn't like my strong reaction (in defending my friend). And we both used the incident to air some feelings that hurt each other. As friends, we were opposites in most mundane ways, in food, in tastes, in education. And the differences that once made our points-of-view interesting to each other, have now created hurtful difference. If she's not willing to talk to me, we can't fix it.

Both incidents revolve around reactions to words. If you want a calm, rational reaction, don't come near me. If you can handle passionate emotion, tell me whatever you want.

The same words will always cause different reactions in different people.

I told the following story to two of my friends. I told Tracy, my fashionista/photographer girlfriend, and Tiffani, my writer/mom of four kids girlfriend.

The tale:
After school today, all the kindergartners came out of the school, boys and girls, their faces stained with lipstick. Each family had been asked to send it the brightest lipstick they could find. For the 100th day of school, they applied their own lipstick and kissed a big paper heart 100 times. I told my daughter that when we got home she could wash her face with Mommy's special soap. This thrilled her.

A summary of Tiffani's reaction:
I can just see all those cute five-year-olds with their lipstick faces. How did your daughter's lipstick color work out?
(Tiffani is an Avon lady who helped me find a lipstick.)

A summary of Tracy's reaction:
I'm proud that she has taken an interest in proper skin care. It's never too early.
(Tracy recently took me to the store and helped me buy the 'special soap' and some moisturizers.)

I will never get the same reaction from any two people with the same words. We need to remember this in our writing. I got the judging sheets back from one of the writing contests I entered. Numerically, I scored well. My entry came back with lots of "nice" next to sentences and lots of comments about the uniqueness and the general good quality. And the potential in hot markets.

And I got several comments that completely contradicted each other. Instances where the three judges disagreed. One said 'this sucks.' The other said, 'I love this.' And the other didn't mention it at all. This, to me, qualifies as success. Because if two people were driven to a strong reaction, but a third didn't even notice, then I have done something that will make people think, potentially 66% of the time. As writers, we want to be noticed. We don't want to be ignored or forgotten.

I must admit, even with my critique group, I take writing so seriously that my feelings are attached to every word. I have to constantly remind myself that the comments don't bear nearly as much weight as I think they do, and as I tell my interns at the office, "if the words sound harsh it's because there's potential there for so much more."

One judge upset me because she took issue with three words in my 27-page entry that she felt were out-of-place. She accused me of picking these words randomly from a thesaurus. I don't use a thesaurus. I don't always use perfect words, and yes, I do sometimes misuse them. This hurts, because I always heard similar comments from newspaper editors. In that case, I used the words correctly but my editors thought the general public would need a dictionary to understand them.

The other reminders that people will always find mistakes in your work, no matter how you try to get it perfect... One judge spent some time arguing which car is faster, the Dodge Viper or the Mercedes CLK430. Another judge wrote me a paragraph about how you never iron napkins. (Étienne irons the napkins because he's nervous and he wants everything to be perfect.)

To say I have a lot on mind is an understatement.

I did it

Last night, I stayed up until midnight and entered the Amazon Breakthrough Novel competition. Probably a thousand people had the same idea, because the server was bogged down and it took an hour to do what should have taken 10 minutes.

I am both thrilled that I did this and unbelievably paranoid.

The contest is free to enter. The prize is a $15,000 advance and contract with Penquin. (Keep in mind, I made $10,000 at my job this year.) They accept the first 5,000 entries in YA and another 5,000 in adult. Contest closes Feb. 7 or when they receive the number of entries they want.

The sponsors are Amazon.com's self-publishing division and Penguin. That's part of what makes me uncomfortable. The other part is their demand that you provide a .doc, .docx, or .rtf of your entire manuscript. I would have preferred to provide a .pdf with password-protected copy function.

But that was not an option.

The only friends who have offered an opinion on this have said to do it. And technically I did copyright a previous book with these characters with the Library of Congress about seven years ago. With my blog, my facebook page(s) and my friend who's archived ever draft of every chapter I have written in the last six years... This story is mine.

But it makes me uncomfortable.

On the other hand, uploading my materials like my description, pitch and author photo looked really cool. I used one of Tracy Chafin's photos of me (and made sure her watermark was visible so all the world could see if there's ever reason to use it).

This is my book description I entered:
Manhattan, August 2002. H. Galen Sorbach has manipulated magick for four hundred years. Until Adelaide. The supermodel exudes mystical feminine healing powers that Galen wants, but he can’t touch the all-American girl who sacrificed her adolescent to launch ready-to-wear for French designer Étienne d’Amille. Adelaide stayed in fashion for the easy money, glamorous clothes, celebrity and, mostly, her undying adoration of Étienne, the only man who does not treat her like sex object. A senior citizen on the runway, Adelaide struggles to survive as a fashion executive in Étienne’s company. Étienne considers himself a humble tailor but his ambitious wife, Basilie, propelled him onto the world stage and divorced him when she could not breathe in his shadow. Yet, she never left. Now, at nearly 45, Basilie conceives a child, a feat the doctors claimed impossible. Meanwhile, Étienne hopes Adelaide might lose herself in a romance with Galen. Instead, fist fights and magickal brawls ensue leaving Adelaide bruised and desperate to master her own powers to end Galen’s perilous manipulations of the universe before she inadvertently hurts the one she truly loves—or worse, in her jealousy, would Adelaide harm his wife?

But the first round is judged solely on pitch. They get rid of 4,000 entries in each category, just on the pitch. So I wrote this:
Adelaide Pitney, fashion executive and supermodel, cannot escape her attraction to “aspiring photographer” and elemental witch H. Galen Sorbach, launching her into a destructive spiral. Four hundred-year-old Galen exploits Adelaide’s untapped healing powers to temper his lack of feminine power. Adelaide wants her magick gone, before it irreparably alters the life of her best friend, designer Etienne d’Amille. Adelaide must master her power to end Galen’s perilous manipulations of the universe before she destroys the relationship most dear to her. Fashion meets paranormal forces, as if Stephen King rewrote The Devil Wears Prada. There’s more at stake than the right outfit, the story challenges our definition of normal relationships and how people love. A supermodel with self-esteem issues has more power than she realizes, if she'd stop giving herself away and assert her magick. She must defeat blood-sucking witches and their violent rituals, but first she has to stop fighting herself.

Wish me luck.

Tomorrow... Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest

Do I even have to mention that feeling when you challenge yourself to meet a goal that seems outside your comfort zone? In my case, my ears ring and I get queasy.

I'm preparing materials to enter the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest. Contest begins at 12:01 a.m. January 25 and continues until they reach 5,000 manuscripts or Feb. 7 or something. Whatever happens first. Being more neurotic than I care to admit, this means I will be staying up late tonight.

I have all sorts of fears about my work ending up in the wrong hands, or getting stolen, because you have to provide the ENTIRE manuscript in a .doc or .rtf. I would be more comfortable if I could submit in a .pdf that allowed me to block copying the words.

But it's a chance at a contract with Penquin.

It literally makes me want to vomit from worry and fear.

The contest has specific needs. Like the 300-word pitch and a 300-word description. Most writers have problems reducing their words. Not me. I seem to max out at 200. Even with my bio.

My bio:
Angel Ackerman—francophile, aspiring fashionista, and journalist (in that order)—has used most of her words on the Lehigh Valley (Pennsylvania) newspaper scene,with 15 years in weekly and daily journalism.

Her professional career includes developing and running a technology literacy program for urban pre-teen girls and public relations.

She also serves on three non-profit boards: president ex-officio of the Greater Lehigh Valley Writers Group, trustee of the Mary Meuser Public Library, and board member and former executive committee officer of the Advisory Board for the Penn State Cooperative Extension of Northampton County.

She recently joined Romance Writers of America and its local affiliate, Pocono-Lehigh Romance Writers.

She holds a BA in English Language and Literature from Moravian College and attends Lafayette College studying International Affairs.

Her favorite authors range classic greats Antoine de Saint-Exupéry and Alèxandre Dumas to modern writers Stephen King and Joyce Carol Oates.

She spends her free time writing, watching French television, and spending time with her crazy family: one husband, one five-year-old daughter, two cats and one tortoise.

My blurb (still working on pitch/description):

In Manipulations (93,000 words), Adelaide Pitney, fashion executive and supermodel, cannot escape her attraction to “aspiring photographer” and elemental witch H. Galen Sorbach, launching her into a destructive spiral.

Four hundred-year-old Galen exploits Adelaide’s untapped healing powers to temper his lack of feminine power. Adelaide wants her magick gone, before it irreparably alters the life of her best friend, designer Etienne d’Amille.

Adelaide must master her power to end Galen’s perilous manipulations of the universe before she destroys the relationship most dear to her.

Something I'm working on:
Fashion meets paranormal forces, as if Stephen King rewrote The Devil Wears Prada. There’s more at stake than the right outfit, Manipulations challenges our definition of normal relationships and how people love.

Contemplations on Contests

So, I've never entered a writing contest. Until last night. Last night I sent an entry to the North Texas Romance Writers Great Expectations. Not sure why. Perhaps because I plan to join our local RWA in another week. Perhaps because it's time to do something and I'm not sure what.

At the same time, an agent blogger I read talked about Amazon's breakthrough novel contest and knocked it, because the winner is "stuck" with a $15,000 advance and a publishing contract with Penguin. As an agent, he feels an author could do better with representation.

Now, I'm a newbie. I've only been rejected about ten times and I don't even have a manuscript "out" at the moment. My queries are all tucked nicely here at home for the holidays. I'm trying to meet people and make that personal connection to get the right agent because mailing out unsolicited queries seem like a waste of postage in today's environment. But, I could be wrong.

But if I entered Amazon.com's contest, and I won, would I "be content" with what Penguin has to offer. I thought about this, for about five seconds, and realized the answer.

A resounding "Hell, yes."

$15,000 isn't much. But it's more than I made at my job last year. It could pay for that extended vacation in France. It would not mean quitting my job. It would not mean a Mercedes convertible. But it IS more than I've made it writing thus far. I think the total from my fiction career weighs in at about $1500 and that's from editing other people's books, not mine.

And it's Penguin for God's sake! Penguin could offer me $20 as an advance and I'd treat the family to a meal at Sonic and we'd celebrate. We're not talking about a POD publisher or some small press. It's Penguin.

The alternative? To keep sending out queries to people I meet at conferences, networking in writers groups and with published authors, and reading and researching and praying.

That $15,000 sounds pretty sweet.

But one thing about the Amazon contest bugs me. Even before they determine the first round of survivors, they want the whole manuscript. This makes me very uncomfortable. First chapter, I'm okay with that. But the whole kit and kaboodle. To Amazon. Not happy with that.

Is it worth the risk?

I'm not sure.

Writing Contests & Writing Goals

I have several writing goals for 2010, after having made progress but not considerable success on my 2009 goals.

I'm going to join RWA-- Romance Writers of America-- for two main reasons:

• I have attended meetings of the local affiliate (Pocono Lehigh Romance Writers) and I like them. They also seem to encourage each other and prod each other.
• My work has romantic elements, and I know I could write more romantic fiction, and be good at it.

In the past, I was a member of HWA-- Horror Writers of America-- but they have time limits on how long you can remain an associate member. This of course means you have time limits to get published, or lose your membership. As someone still seeking a genre, or perhaps of mixed genre, I haven't done enough work to get published to make that kind of leap. The HWA does offer a superb network of information though, so I'd like to get reacquainted with them some day.

I'm a paranormal chick lit writer. No doubt that what I write is aimed at women. And I tend to include that fashionista style universe that flies well in chick lit. But with lots of sex, paranormal, violence and some suspense.

So, I've saved some info on contests. I want to enter a few. Why? I'm not sure. For exposure? Practice? Feedback? To say I'm doing something? (To waste money?) To get closer. To motivate myself.

I need to renew my subscription to Poets & Writers. That magazine was chock full of real info for writers. Not just how-to tidbits and wanna-be writing info like Writers Digest. I always hated Writers Digest. I liked the Writer. It was a good middle-of-the-road publication.

But I digress. These contests. I haven't read some of this potential submissions for probably eight months or more. My (first) manuscript was originally 167,000. It's now about 92,5oo, and I can't even tell they're missing. I say "about" because it's 92,646 I think... but I've already cut about 50 words from the first five pages.

The process never ends. Writing means constantly facing your inadequacy or your victories every day. What seems like a victory one day can seem grossly inadequate six months later...