The windings down of January

This blog, for some reason, has always tormented me. I'm a writer, and a prolific one at that, but for some reason it's easier for me to write 50,000 words on Algerian-French relations that write 200 words potentially every other day for this forum.

My return to journaling has been a success. I have managed to write in that every day, every once in a while twice a day. Does it make sense that sometimes I need a sense of connection and reflection in my own life? I think that the technological advances and the speed with which everything changes and is communicated to use might be more detrimental than helpful. Our lives keep speeding up, and I don't want to barrel forward like a speed train. I need more stillness.

January started on very uplifting notes. I won an attendance contest at work and got a $250 Target gift card. My grades came in higher than I expected. I had a really awesome job interview with a nonprofit that supports work I really could support.

But the last week or so seems very bogged down in real world worries, the kind of stuff you can't control. I know I should be thankful that our credit with our fuel oil supplier has covered two fuel drops so far this winter, but instead I worry about how I'm going to pay for the next one. Okay, so maybe not really, but that's the logic my mind follows.

This was back-to-school week for Lafayette College. This also seemed bittersweet because it's my last semester. I don't have classes, only my honors thesis. So I registered for NCUR and looked at the other accepted abstracts from my school. There's someone else doing a presentation on the veil and France. My adviser is trying to facilitate a meeting between the two of us.

I printed out a draft of my honors thesis yesterday and am working on a line by line hand edit. I hope to hand something in to my adviser Tuesday.

I also attended a workshop via the Greater Lehigh Valley Writers Group on POD with CreateSpace. I'm tempted to publish a werewolf novella as a test. I certainly know the people who could make sure we develop a quality product. I've been against various forms of self-publishing for many years. The two main reasons are that many authors publishing their work independently don't have the skills to create a quality product and the idea that independent publishing can imply that an author does not work well with others.

I have a background in newspapers and some experience in desktop publishing. I went to the workshop interested in the technology. While I sat there I realized two things:

1. I have not done anything with my work for almost two years. No querying, so serious research. I've done some writing and some editing but none with a goal in sight. I've been busy with school and life, but I've also been watching the trends of the publishing industry to understand where I might best succeed. Or perhaps fit.

2. I have a distinct vision of how I want my books to look. I know the artists and graphic designers and even editors that I would love to have working with me.

So, if I'm not doing anything anyway, why not try a POD project?
And if I know what I want it to look like, any other publisher won't allow me that control.

Worth pondering.

The werewolf short story

I have begun my werewolf short story (and my final essay for my French class, so when one bores me I can work on the other).

I wrote 300 works on it yesterday, got some positive feedback from several friends, but my husband was the first to point out I have no "hook."

So I started the next stretch of the story keeping an eye out for that potential hook, and I got an additional 125 words before my daughter woke up.

The reality is, especially as a mom, first drafts stink because you never get a chance to sit, write and focus. Writing becomes disjointed and grabbed in brief minutes when you can, where you can.

Like this blog: some days I write long, well-thought out entries and some days I present a few scattered sentences. Today is a scattered sentence day, because my mommy obligations are at the forefront.

It's really no different for writers who work for time or have other commitments (like those deep in the process of marketing their first or current book while writing the next). The reality is you keep writing and you can't make excuses.

The werewolf story proceeds, even if 100 words at a time. I will fix it later, once I have a first draft to fix. It's easier to fix a first draft than to create a story out of nothing. The author with a bad first draft has already surpassed the writer intimidated by a blank page.

New projects

One of the writing groups I belong to, I believe it was PLRW, posted this call for urban fantasy/were-creatures short stories from Ekaterina Sedia:

http://fishmonkey.blogspot.com/2010/04/new-anthology.html

And I thought to myself: well, there's no reason why I can't write something for that. Even if just as an exercise in finishing a new project for a specific purpose. Always a good lesson. Creative people sometimes forget how to complete an assignment that's not muse-driven.

I now have several pages of notes in my journal about a werewolf in post-Liberation 1945 Paris...