Change is hard

Let's face it. Change is hard. I have challenged myself to write more, blog more, and eat better and I'm pretty hit or miss on all of them. Two weeks ago I had my thesis defense. It went well. Despite a rapid start. The nerves kicked in and I covered the first half of the presentation really quickly. The final is handed in to the appropriate people. I hope the paperwork is, too.

I've been working a lot of hours at Target, fulfilling my volunteer commitments and making no headway in finding a job or cleaning the house.

Then I got an email that an NGO in Washington DC wanted to interview me for a communications director position. And less than 48 hours after that interview, they requested a second one. That one is scheduled for the 28th. Road trip!

I am exhausted from everything I have had going on. Graduation is a week away. My birthday is Monday. Now a road trip?

I'm excited and trembling, so coupling this with the exhaustion makes me want to flop in bed and twitch.

Truth be told, I'm TERRIFIED of getting a job almost as much as I am terrified to continue in my current lifestyle. Getting a job means returning to a 40-hour work week. Returning to my status of primary wage earner. Sacrificing my freedom. Work stress. Suits. Potentially moving. But there... there is a BIG word...

Moving.

This could move me forward and I don't mean leaving this house for another one. I have loved these last few years. But my daughter is getting bigger and doesn't need me as much anymore. Not as much as I need her. So, I have earned this new degree and now it's time to build the me that goes with it. But holy cow!

Rebuilding me?!?!?

This is hard stuff.